Madeira
Madeira is one of the few places away from England where I could
live. I do like to see a bit of Nature's green all year round,
even though this does unfortunately require regular rain. Madeira,
however, combines this requirement with a pleasantly stable temperature.
This could be something to do with being quite near to the coast of
north-west Africa, only 500 km (310 miles) east of Morocco.
Madeira
is known as a floating island of flowers. Well, you know how
folks go overboard when describing places! |
We stayed in the capital, Funchal, where hotels are principally
on two levels to the west of the sprawling city: one level just above
the city centre and the other way above the city centre. You can guess
which level we were on, knowing my luck, can't you! It was way up
above what the locals call Cardiac Hill, so we chose to only walk
down on our excursions. We were quite pleased with the quality
of our hotel, however, which like many similar hotels, had a free
courtesy bus service to the city centre: although it ceased surprisingly
early in the evening. If you know that classic British comedy starring
John Cleese known as Fawlty Towers you would have immediately
recognized our hotel porter as Manuel. So this is for those who know
him. The short, ever-willing-to-be-helpful, non-English-speaking,
Manuel used to have enough problems showing guests to the correct
room. Now transpose this situation to a hi-tech hotel, with Manuel
showing Hazel and myself to our room, indicating how the electronic
key-card works, how the electronically-controlled air-conditioning
works, how you must place the key-card into a special holder in the
room in order to get any electricity (a splendid eco-saver, this),
and then, consider this situation where the key-card does not actually
open the door in the first place and Manuel has to go back to reception
to get a special electronic box to reset the system. That was our
scenario! Thank goodness there was a complimentary bottle of Madeira
wine waiting for us when we finally got into the room. We certainly
needed fortifying: and the fortified wine certainly did the job. To
my mind, however, I prefer to think of Madeira wine as a sherry: if
I'm drinking wine then I want something a little less heavy! If I'm
in the mood for drinking sherry, however, then it's a different matter
entirely!
Madeira is known as a floating island of flowers. Well, you know
how folks go overboard when describing places! The temperate climate
of Madeira does mean that it is pleasantly warm all year round, however,
and this is why so many plants thrive. If you are a gardener, imaging
that your greatest problem is to decide which fruit trees
to grow. Shall it be bananas like everyone else, or is this too boring?
A few vines are needed, of course; handy to pick and eat when you
get home and are searching for the key, worn out from climbing the
hill. Then what about an orange tree by the patio? Or perhaps a lemon?
Pity those Arum lilies grow like weeds here. Gosh, what gardening
dilemmas you would face! Then, again, perhaps it's no wonder that
the garden-loving English have so liked this island throughout recent
history. What opportunities for those with green fingers! With a climate
not unlike the very best to be had in an English summer,
with some rain to keep everything pleasantly green - unlike the Canaries
to the south - you can see the appeal. The friendly, peace-loving
Portuguese inhabitants also add to its attraction as a tourist destination.
They are not only friendly: they are also a picture of health. All
the girls are petite and extremely attractive and, if my wife is to
be believed, all the men are profoundly handsome. I has to be said,
though, that people do also get old here and lose some of this gloss
- even in such paradise.
If
you like sand with your sun, and beaches with your bathing, then you
should probably go somewhere else - although there is one delightful,
sandy, artificial beach at Calheta, in the south! (There's not much
else there except a marina - so great, if you arrive in your own yacht.)
Elsewhere, if you want to swim, you have to either stick to the hotel
swimming pools, visit the spa in Funchal, pay a visit to the other
nearby inhabited island of Porto Santo, or maybe visit Porto Moniz
in the north, where there are lava swimming pools (more of this later).
The volcano-spewed island of Madeira shot up through the sea without
any thought to such provision, and typical coastlines are vertical.
There is some splendid mountain scenery as a result, with tall waterfalls
and low-lying villages: some actually in volcanic craters and hard
to reach, like Curral das Freiras, or "Nun's Valley" as
it is known. Here you'll find beauty by the crater-load - unlike the
aftermath of most other volcanic creations! The soil is so rich here!
Madeira
is just 56 km (35 miles) long and 21 km (13 miles) wide. On my first
visit, zipping around it in a car was far from easy due to the narrow
and torturous roads. The island's mountainous terrain then ensured
any distance you travel horizontally you also doubled by travelling
vertically! But that is a lot different now, thanks to lots of EU
money, countless mountain tunnels, flyovers, and a motorway along
the south from near the airport and then west, taking in Funchal.
This is fast and narrow for a motorway, though, so be warned.
The highest mountain, Pico Ruivo, is 6,109 feet, so don't underestimate
the vertical element of this island formed, as it was, from a ring
of volcanoes. This fertile land was originally covered in forest and
it took some seven years of burning when it was first inhabited to
gain sufficient space to build and live. As it is, the steep slopes
mean that it is often necessary to create terraces in order to grow
anything or to build. The first primitive borough began in a beautiful
valley where the fennel (funcho) grew and, for this reason, it developed
to become the island's capital having the name of 'Funchal'. Villages
used to be very isolated and, even today, there are some islanders
who have never even visited Funchal, let alone left the island.
It
is not surprising that the island has many micro-climates and there
is saying that it is possible to visit all four seasons in a single
day when travelling around the island. The northern coast is rather
different to the more inhabited south coast, the latter more popular
because it has a dryer climate. This is where Funchal, is situated.
They get far more rain in the north and on the mountains, and in order
to irrigate the land and to get sufficient water to other parts of
the island and for electricity generation, the early settlers invented
a method of moving the water to where it was required using long,
narrow water channels called levadas. These levadas are to
be found all over the island and, because they take practically level
courses that follow the natural terrain, the adjacent footpaths make
for some lovely walks through all kinds of scenery. The only drawback
is that these paths are often quite narrow, sometimes extremely so.
I particularly enjoyed the easy levada walk from Choupana to Rochão,
stopping over at Camacha for refreshments at the local inn. I'm not
so sure the locals are entirely happy that their little village inn
was overflowing with tourists, however, although the owner didn't
seem to mind very much although it was giving his till an unreasonable
bashing. Don't let me mislead you into thinking that the levada walk
was full of tourists, having said this. There are also many other
more remote levadas to walk, including one to an enchanting place
where 25 water sources meet in the Valley of Rabaçal.
Getting
to places is really something you need to plan in Madeira. |
Getting
to places is really something you need to plan in Madeira. It's not
that there aren't plenty of options, more that it is best to plan
your stay for, even if you intend to do a lot of walking, you still
need to get to and from your start and finish points. Not that there
are not a lot of trips to choose from if you want someone to make
that easy for you - although prices vary considerably, so do not plump
for the first offer.
Madeira is, of course, a walker's paradise. So let's consider the
options. You could hire a car, and there are plenty of companies to
help you out with this, for as long or short a period as you like.
But how is your driving? Are you good at hill-starts on 45° inclines?
Can you reverse down or up such slopes, including passing between
parked cars and stone walls with only a few inches to spare? How would
you feel backing up on a narrow, twisting, mountainous road with a
one-foot wall separating you from a thousand foot drop? How do you
feel about navigating around and through the surprisingly large Funchal
where even the main road in passes through tunnels, across tall bridges,
and ducks and dives under, over and around other roads in something
that resembles a 3-D maze? Here is a place where you can see somewhere
on an adjacent road and not have a clue as to how to get there! If
this raises any concerns for you, then take one of the other options!
If you think I am going overboard as usual then, frankly, I deny it
- this time!
The other options are the ever-present and reasonable taxis - 98%
of which are yellow Mercedes, the biggest cars on the island - and
the range of buses. You need to check the buses out carefully and
it is best to buy a ticket for the local ones at a booth or possibly
your hotel before your travel, noting that a 'return' - really just
a 2-trip ticket in either direction - costs very little more than
a single. It is as well to be aware that several bus companies operate
different routes on the island and they do duplicate numbers. The
buses do have different colours but, if you only know the number of
a bus and are also colour-blind you might just have a problem. If
this is the case, take particular care if you give any thought to
travelling to the northern coast by bus. These routes are not very
frequent and you could be in for an unexpected overnight stay or a
long taxi trip if you get it wrong.
The coach drivers on Madeira are a special breed. They drive these
kind of narrow roads and back-streets like they were 3-lane highways,
handle 45° inclines with panaché, turn round where you
would think twice about doing the same with a small car, squeeze between
stone walls and parked cars with millimetres to spare. On one of our
trips to a high mountain viewpoint we ascended a narrow-twisting road
with a low-little wall separating us from a drop of thousands of feet,
only to meet a taxi coming in the opposite direction. The road was
not much wider than the coach, but the driver backed up a hundred
yards without a second thought to a place where he had to persuade
the taxi driver to tuck his big Mercedes into the bushes next to a
rock wall so we could scrape pass. Exciting stuff!
Funchal
itself clusters in a valley around a pleasant bay but, as I said,
don't expect a beach. The sea-shore offers only dingy pebbles, and
you won't see anyone bathing. I only saw a few kids on the pebbles
and one of the few homeless to be found there. This particular chap
was dressed as if for the Arctic, wore the traditional woolen hat
with side-flaps - the story has it that these are so the men can let
them down to block out nagging wives - they're considering it for
export - and he wore a huge gold chain and medallion around
his neck along the lines of a mayor. (Unless he was, indeed, the mayor
of Funchal, I would have thought that the police should have taken
a closer look at his regalia than I did.) There is a small harbour
allowing cruise-ships to berth and the passengers to make a quick
flurry into the city to buy the traditional lace, wickerwork, Madeira
wine and, or course, the equally fortified Madeira cake. (They're
good at fortifying things in Madeira. It comes from a long history
of attack by pirates. I don't think I mentioned the fact that the
Nun's Valley got its name simply because some nuns retreated there
briefly to escape some dastardly pirate invasion. Now the pirates
mainly congregate near the jetty and marina in Funchal, but more of
that later!)
Many people are, I feel, a little bit cruel about Funchal when they
talk about how busy and noisy it is. What city isn't busy with traffic
but, in this city, there is always something beautiful near-to-hand
to counterbalance this frenetic activity: far more than most other
cities could boast. The city is well kept, the pavements are clean
and pleasant in themselves with their mosaic, black-and-white appearance,
and Funchal also has great character. So, let's just set the record
straight! If you stay in Madeira, however, you cannot get a true picture
of the island unless you travel outside the city limits. But I do
believe it is a good plan to be based in the city since this is the
hub of the island - and the hub of transportation to take you anywhere
else you need. Stay here and you can be car-less and care-free!
The
mountains up behind Funchal are frequently enshrouded in cloud. Even
as you watch this situation changes. The rising hot air is responsible
for the precipitation that the city is quite used to, but given that
this is interspersed by pleasant sunny weather, this is worth having
since it keeps everywhere so pleasantly green and helps provide the
water supply. Weather forecasting over the whole island is hardly
worth the effort, and it is best to be well prepared for anything
from sun to a cold breeze or showers. No wonder the English feel so
much at home here! But the bottom line is this: it never gets too
cold or too hot - except at the top of a mountain, where
it can be freezing.
The
pleasant, tree-lined Avenida das Comunidades Madeirenses runs parallel
to the bay and is a major departure point for local buses, taxis and
hotel courtesy buses. The latter are quite common because, if your
hotel is on the outskirts of Funchal, expect a lot of hill work! if
they don't run quite to your taste, the local buses are famously punctual
and efficient. (You can pay on the bus but most people already have
their tickets which they plonk into a machine for it to take a bite.)
By
the Funchal Marina, at the lower-level, are a variety of cafés/restaurants
and you might chose to consider these for a meal. If you do, be prepared
to run the gauntlet of their sales-persons who will all attack you
with the merits of their own establishment. We relented and ate at
one marina-side establishment one evening, soon to be entertained
by a group of folk dancers. This area stretches to the west of the
centrally located jetty known as the Pontinha and is easy to miss
since you have to descend a ramp or steps to even find it. Near the
jetty you will most likely also be accosted by those undertaking 'surveys'
that end in a lucky dip by way of thanks. With the skill of conjurors
these people ensure that one from each couple is a lucky winner of
a free meal at a good hotel, a free vacation, a free taxi trip up
there, and goodness knows what else free. The catch? Goodness knows,
they don't usually mention time-share, so I'm sure it couldn't
be anything like that. Still, now you can be even less surprised at
your luck than they are when one of you draws a winning ticket, and
you can consider whether you want to get drawn into that sort of thing
when there are much more worthwhile things to do on the island before
the question even arises! Or, you can sit and have a snack and watch
them in operation.
The
good ship Vagrante is in dry-dock right there by the jetty,
and upon its deck you can enjoy an ice-cream or cake and coffee. This
ship was once owned by the Fab Four - the Beatles, no less.
So enjoy some time-out here and wonder why it looks so unlike a yellow
submarine. Adjacent to this, on either side, more snacks are available
where you sit in make-believe boats on make-believe waters, under
make-believe skies, without any fear of sea-sickness or being accosted
by Sergeant Pepper. Just opposite all of this is the impressive white
fort (Fortalez de São Lourenço) and Parliament House.
For
my second trip to Funchal I was delighted to discover it coincided
with the 500 year celebration of habitation, and the Tall Ships were
coming in force to help celebrate. This included the world's largest
sailing ship, the Russian Sedov,
with its four giant masts rising over 200 feet above water level,
and its length an amazing 385 feet. The public were allowed on board
many of these ships and it was great to see this one - and to look
up the masts from deck level, as tall as the tallest trees I ever
did see. The crew were smartly dressed, but the deck hands, or trainee
lads, were poorly dressed; but I guess you wouldn't normally notice
that when they were scrambling around in the rigging. Just imagine
that if you will! To cause general confusion, but to ward off people
telling me in cannot be the Sedov in the picture, be aware that while
it is normally white, when I saw it it was black. Clear? Apparently
it had recently been painted for the sake a film, The things these
producers insist on, eh? Or was it some diva?
Back
on land, the Sé - the cathedral - and the Sé quarter,
is not far and here you will find some pleasant open-air restaurants
where you don't get bullied to go in. Try one after visiting
the mini-cathedral: much more impressive inside than out. I particularly
like the Café Funchal where you can get simple food
served in pleasant surroundings, well supported by the locals. Similarly,
there are some nice open-air cafes facing the harbour. Here you can
eat and watch life pass you by. You can also watch the dogs either
pass you by or play together in happy companionship. The charming
little mongrels are all very appealing little creatures, never a pest,
and they survive well as buddies in this environment. They are particularly
seen between this area and the Old Town to the east: where those with
gastronomically-challenged appetites might be better advised to stray.
One great mystery to me was how, given the number of free-running
dogs there are around these areas, there never seems to be any accompanying
mess. Strange but true! Where people have dogs as pets they often
live out-of-doors in kennels. A less attractive feature of the Funchal
dogs was that they rather like barking all night long. Perhaps they
just wanted to get indoors. On my second visit, there seemed to be
far less dogs around. Wonder what happened? Don't like to think!

If
you like shopping, many of the shops are hidden away in various shopping
arcades dotted around the city, so look out for these. Don't, however,
expect any large shops or chain-stores. Madeira is not quite like
that: it has more character. Part of this character is the
Worker's Market (Mercado dos Lavradores) near the Old Town, where
you can buy any of the island's specialties. One of these is the scabbard
fish, the espada, a fearsome-looking jet-black eel-like beast
that is typically up to a metre in length. In the fish market you
will see many of them displaying their needle-sharp teeth. You can
they trot off to just about any restaurant and get your razor-sharp
teeth into it, if you feel so inclined: traditionally laced with banana!
What ever you do, don't confuse this espada black eel monster
with the other famous island dish espetada, a typical Madeiran
meat dish, really a kebab of beef, traditionally threaded on a laurel
stick. Also, while on the subject of confusion, it is as well not
to confuse the ladies toilet (Senhoras) with the gents (Senhores)
or, less confusing, Homens.
Don't be afraid to explore the rather sleazy-looking old town to
the east of the Worker's Market. This is what the town used to be
like. Keeping to the seaward part of this you will find the gastronomic
gems you may be seeking, otherwise surprise yourself at the apparent
poverty of the streets which look almost like warehouses but are usually
homes. While we strolled in this area we came across a street cordoned
off by armed police. It took them some time to root out their objective,
no doubt hidden in one of the shady-looking backstreet houses, but
then life went back to normal.
Oh
yes, they have plenty of bananas! This is a major product of the island.
The typical house around Funchal has a garden-full of banana trees,
they take the banana so seriously. They grow like a forest around
the houses, a few feet apart, miniature forests. They bend all the
rules to ensure they each have their own banana supply, with a typical
garden comprising a banana plantation with a central vine-covered
walkway to their door. Yes, there are many beautiful flowers to be
seen here but, with my typical luck, in early April, they had snow
the previous week and things were a little backward. The vines were
only just coming into leaf although the splendid blue flowers of the
jacaranda trees were to be seen, and the beautiful red bougainvillea
flowered en-masse on wires stretched across the two river-beds
which bisect the city near the market: to disguise the brown waters
below. (You don't want to know why they are brown; just imagine
this is all due to the turbulence of the mountain waters.)
if
you're feeling brave, take the cable car from the old town of
Funchal up to Monte. |
if
you're feeling brave, take the cable car from the old town of Funchal
up to Monte, high above Funchal, famous for the Church of Our Lady
of Monte. You really wouldn't want to walk there, and you can take
a bus, but since they invented a rather nice cable car for our second
visit, I would highly recommend that. It gives you a delightful ride,
with a wonderful view - although the faint-hearted might not like
to keep their eyes open. I would. Just imagine you are in a plane.
The Portuguese are very much Catholic, and this is an important shrine
for them. If you climb the many steps to get there and still have
the energy to go in, don't give up when the large door refuses to
open; just press in the right place and a secret inner door-within-a-door
will let you through to a golden splendour and peace worth experiencing.
(Hazel discovered this to the delight of several people who had given
up all hope on entry.)
If
you're still feeling brave when you get up there, two white-clad
charioteers will control and guide you 2km down a hill on a
wicker contraption. |
Walk
down the steps opposite this door and you eventually are led to the
starting place of the famous Madeiran toboggans. If you're still feeling
brave when you get up there, two white-clad charioteers will control
and guide you 2km down a hill on a wicker contraption. Down a twisting
street, that is. Interleaved with traffic... doing their best to steer
it and stop it at a couple of road junctions in case you otherwise
implant yourself into the side of a bus. If this frightens you at
all, consider that it used to be really fast before the more recent
slower surface. I assure you they are ace at missing the protruding
manhole covers and straightening up the sideways slides, traffic using
the road is quite patient, and I didn't see one man slip or lose his
grip, so there is really nothing to worry about at all. If you are
worried then go in the rain like us when, as we found, it is really
slow! Personally I found it far too slow - I am such a daredevil -
and the men pulled as much as they rode. Originally this scheme was
designed as a method for getting produce down to market in Funchal.
Now it is all about producing growth from the pocket of the tourist.
It is, however, an obligatory Madeiran experience, so you
must do it! (Everyone will ask if you did!) Nearby are the Monte Palace
Tropical Gardens, worth a visit if you are interested in seeing the
wide variety of tropical plants that grow on the island, and the tiles
and porcelain that sprouts among them in a rather bizarre fashion;
personally I prefer my porcelain on the table.

I
also preferred the gardens at the Blandy mansion known as Quinta do
Palheiro, east of Funchal, as being much more natural. The Blandy's
really seem to have got Madeira sewn up and certainly have fingers
in all the paying pies of the island, from tourism - they have a Travel
Agency that runs tours that I can highly recommend - to being the
producers of the most famous brand of Madeira wine. John Blandy first
set foot on the island in 1807 when, as a 23-year-old soldier, he
was posted to the island with a British Army garrison sent to help
the Portuguese thwart any attempt of invasion by Napolian's navy.
As quartermaster it was his good fortune to come into contact with
the local wine merchants and, with the taste still in his mouth after
he left the army, he returned in 1811 to found the company that still
bears his name. So with tourism as the major industry and wine a strong
and heady second, the Blandy's are well placed to keep up their Quinta.
'Quinta'
is the name given to the palatial homes that merchants set up on the
island to live in pleasant surroundings and from which to run their
wine empires. You can savour some of this by touring the Blandy-owned
São Francisco Wine Lodge in the jacaranda-enshrined Avenida
Arriaga, virtually adjacent to the lush green haven of the small gardens
known as Jardim de São. Time it right, twice a day (10:30 am
and 3:30 pm), and you can enjoy a one-hour tour through the oldest
working wine lodges in Funchal. You get to see huge ancient vats of
choice wine, a film, and a wine museum and old wine presses. You also
get to taste the end product! Get there early and state your language
preference in the hope of promoting the correct guide, although this
should not be a problem if you speak English. The young lady who took
us around was keenly interested in her work - who wouldn't be? - and
was typical of most of the island's guides; at least, I can say that
of the Blandy ones, since we took several trips arranged by the Blandy
Travel Agency (Agência de Viagens Blandy) located on the Avenida
das Comunidades Madeirenses. Their trips are quite a bit more expensive
than many others that are available but, if you prefer an English-speaking
guide to a bus that has pre-recorded tapes in several languages, it
is worth the extra for the personal touch.
On
our second visit we took a coach trip to the north, which included
a visit to Porto Moniz. Here the natural spilled lava from the volcanoes
created natural swimming pools that are filled by sea water. Apart
from an aquarium, there is not much else there, and they clearly don't
like the visitors - or locals, come to that - for getting too amorous
- or friendly, even. Where you would expect to see normal seats on
the promenade you will find single-seaters, strategically placed such
that there is about a two-foot gap between them - even a stretch to
pass over a sandwich. What is that all about? Judging by the shape
of them, I imagine the answer given would be 'design'. Strange designs,
methinks.
You
would have thought that with tourism as the major industry, it would
be considered important to ensure that everyone employed in the travel
industry was friendly and welcoming to tourists. Surely this makes
sense? Yet I was surprised on entering what my guide book described
as the 'friendly tourist office' to find two grim-faced portly ladies,
sitting at adjacent desks like matching book-ends, who clearly thought
that foreigners disturbing their peace were not to be encouraged.
(I've met a few street-sellers in different parts of Europe that seem
to have a similar aversion to their principal source of trade. How
do we educate them?) Still, you know my luck, perhaps they were both
just having a bad day or my face was too long. I cheered up a bit
at the sight of the flower-sellers just along the street: a much more
colourful scene! That was some years ago, though, so maybe they've
been recycled since then.
As I said earlier, the build of these two ambassadors was in stark
contrast to most of the inhabitants who have shapely, petite figures.
All the girls have great bodies and all the men have great girls!
That's what it seemed. Romance certainly blossoms among the jacaranda
trees, in the parks, along the shore ... in fact, anywhere.
O to be young and alive in Madeira!
When we went back, however, we noticed a big difference in the teenagers.
Whereas they were shapely and well-dressed then, now they are like
teenagers everywhere else, attached to mobile phones, built differently,
and potentially as loud as their counterparts in other parts of the
world. I guess that's the nature of progress.


For a good choice of hotels with discount prices, visit Hotel
Reservation in Madeira for more information.
